God-Size Dreams

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Can you remember the dreams you had for your life when you were a child? I know I can. My father was a lay pastor and evangelist. I remember listening to him preach, and I remember sitting around campfires with my friends as my father led worship with his guitar. I remember the sound of the fire crackling, the smiles on the faces and the glow of God’s Spirit in the eyes of those singing. At eight years old I used to say to myself: “One day I want to grow up to be just like you dad.” Yes, I was only a child when I first dreamed the God-size dream of being a world evangelist.

Can you remember when you first started doubting the Godsize dream you had as a child. I know I can. My faith started struggling when my mother and father started fighting all the time. I prayed for years that God would help. It seemed like God was not listening. At twelve years old, my parents divorced, and by the time I was nineteen, my life had gone on a downward spiral that led to a suicide attempt. After this I went on a long prodigal journey. I started looking for my God- size dreams in the world but all this led to were struggles with addiction. By the time I started longing for the God I used to know as a child, I was homeless, sleeping in a bus stop. The heart I used to hold my God-size dreams in now had a God-size hole, nothing in this world could fill. It was in this place that I met the God I know now.

I used to live my life trying to recapture the faith I had as a child, but now I know that the secret to living out your Gosize dreams is getting to know God for yourself. God promises us “If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord” (Jeremiah 29:13).

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