God Chose You

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I remember being seventeen years old when I came across a college fair pamphlet highlighting the beginning of a new journey that would change my life forever. Within the first few weeks of college, God planted a seed in my heart to pursue a specific mission, to work with a team of visionaries to make a difference in the field of mental health and school systems.

Doors started to open. Miracles took place. I was excited to see what else God had in store. But as the years passed by, the journey only became harder. I became disheartened multiple times. It became challenging to navigate the roles of being a doctoral student, a therapist, a wife, and a mother. I questioned if I was really meant to move forward with this path.

One day, I finally broke down and cried out to God: “I can’t do this anymore! Why did you choose me, God? Why not someone else?” It was in this moment where Satan tried to make a move by bringing negative thoughts about my past failures. Satan made great efforts to frame it in a way that would make me look at these experiences as signs, that it was time to give up and let go. It started to make me question even more if staying on the path to fulfill the mission was worth pursuing. What if I just stopped today? Will anyone care? Does God even care? Maybe the idea to work with a team someday is just a fantasy. Maybe there is no hope to make a difference at all. This downward spiral occurred right at the peak of my doctoral journey which so happened to also mark ten years of accepting the call God placed in my life back in Fall 2011. It was so unlike me to be at a place in life where I was ready to let go and quit. I will be honest with you: I even had an email draft stating that I would withdraw myself from the doctoral program due to personal reasons. It did not sit right, and I never sent it. So, I waited and waited, letting the week go by with no productivity toward certain program deadlines that were fast approaching. A few days later, God responded in an unexpected, yet meaningful way as I drove my son to daycare.

God responded by impressing upon my heart a paraphrase of Psalm 121:1-2: “Lift your eyes up to the sky. Where does your help come from? Your help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.” Then it hit me. I was brought back to the moment where I looked out the window of a school bus as a seventeen-year-old, holding the pamphlet that highlighted the start of my journey. I remembered that God revealed the same verse back then when I questioned if I was supposed to pursue a degree in psychology, and later, within marriage and family therapy. Tears started to roll down my face. God had responded in the most perfect way, and I was reminded of the following: Whenever I have lost hope in myself, God would always restore my strength. Whenever I felt like I was going nowhere, He would re-direct my focus back to His eternal mission. When the future seemed unclear, He never left my side. That day when I looked up to the sky, one thing was evident: God has already chosen me. Now it was my job to keep choosing Him.

Maybe you have also experienced times when you questioned the calling God placed in your heart. If so, I want to invite you to spend time reflecting on the barriers you have overcome so far. How did you make it through the unknowns in the past even when things became challenging? How were you still able to move forward all this time? I believe that the evidence is clear. God chose YOU to start this journey, and He is still choosing YOU to keep going. Will you choose Him to continue being the Source of your strength and focus today?

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