The last three months of 2020 consisted of hills and valleys. The hills involved graduating nursing school with honors and receiving a job offer in my dream unit. The valleys were an accumulation of uncertainties and challenges. Will I pass the NCLEX on time? Am I really qualified for this unit? Will I become a registered nurse, competent enough to continue Christ’s ministry of healing? These thoughts, along with the challenge of finding stability in the midst of a global pandemic consumed me. My confidence suffered as well as my faith that God would see things through.
During times of trial, it is difficult to have confidence that the things you hope for will work out in the end. This has proven to be more difficult to accomplish while living in a society where one is expected to be self-reliant. I had the mindset that all I needed was to have faith in myself. Looking back, I realized two things: The first was this mindset made it hard for me to accept my achievements because I did not believe in myself. The second and most important conclusion was that having faith in myself is not enough.
Amidst the doubt, I arrived upon a moment of clarity: that I desired to place my faith in God rather than myself and recognize the need to take action. I delved into Scriptures, specifically the book of Hebrews. I stumbled upon Chapter 11, which was entitled Faith in Action. Everything started to make sense. The desire to rely on God allows one to actively try to get closer to Him – this itself is to have faith. Once you have faith in God, you develop the confidence that the things you hope for will work out – which is the reassurance to move forward in spite of the uncertainties. As for me, three months into 2021, I passed the NCLEX and achieved my dream of becoming a registered nurse.
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance to what we do not see” (Hebrews 11: 1).NIV