The transitional period between high school and college can be simply stated and summed up in one word: weird! It is like you are in a polar vortex stuck in between holding up the entire world like Atlas and trying your best to figure out who you are, only to have your world come crashing down like Sisyphus. The duality is so precarious that I often found myself going for long walks trying to navigate the pressures of growing up and leaving the known with the allure of the unknown beckoning me with the innocuous promise of something more. My innate foundation and make up of who I was turned to dust. With just a snap of a finger I felt like I was moving in molasses, drowning in dry land, clawing for air to breath. My relationship with God was reduced to someone Whom I used to know, but as the saying goes: life got in the way.
You see, for four years, my pride and my perception of who I thought God was stifled the cries of my soul. I felt that I had to get my life back together for me to go back to God and for Him to love me. I was so preoccupied with the notion of hiding my sin, guilt, shame, and utter embarrassment of where I was in life that I forgot the innate character of God’s love! God is love, and God loves me! Those simple words were the catalyst that enabled me to break free and realize the irony that, for four years, I had been drowning in dry land when all I needed to do was to just breath!
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him” (1 John 4:16-17).