The Bigger the Calling, The Bigger the Struggle


“I am going to possess you,” said the demons in my dreams as a child. The miracle is that I did not even have a relationship with Jesus at the time. I grew up Catholic. I responded profusely in my dream: “You cannot possess me. Jesus is right next to me!” Then, an angel-like figure grabbed my hand, and I woke up not knowing why I even mentioned this Jesus.

Every day, I watched my mother being threatened by the demons in her mind. “I am going to kill you,” she would say and laugh to herself. She has schizophrenia. Beginning at age six, I developed severe depression and anxiety. In middle school, I witnessed my uncle stab himself, throw his pictures of Mary and Jesus in the trash, and attempt to lock himself in his car and set it on fire. As I grew older, I got fired from four jobs due to my anxiety, so I resorted to knocking on doors to provide for myself.

Attempting to become successful for my family, I resorted to modeling. I landed on the front cover of a magazine and held global pageant titles. This all changed when I met Jesus. I became a Bible worker and worked with seven churches in the first four years of being an Adventist. Now I was knocking on doors for Jesus.

What if I were to tell you that the reason why you are reading my testimony is because God wants to break a generational curse in your family? “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; Before you were born, I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah 1:5). NKJV

Through the many pains and sufferings in my life, I have discovered that the bigger the calling on your life, the bigger the struggle. If not for my depression and dealing with spiritual warfare in my mom’s mind, I would not have understood that Jesus not only died for our sins but also our sufferings. Join me in claiming the promise that in our weaknesses Jesus’ strength is made perfect.

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